The Art of Marriage
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage: The little things are the big ones. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
- From THE ART OF LIVING TREASURE CHEST, Simon & Schuster, 1977, copyright Wilferd A. Peterson.
And what of marriage?
A poem by Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran
To the question: 'And what of marriage?'
He says: 'You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.'
Fig for a Kiss (Druid Ode)
(Gaire na mBan - Laugher of the Women)
Rinnce 's ceol biodh againne
Gliogar is sport is ragairne
Buailimis ceol go fearuil
Is gealainnis croithe na mban.
Curfa:
O ro na cailini 's buachailli oga fearula
Rince, ceol is ragairne
Aileacht is gaire na mban.
Sios is suas an macha linn
Anonn 's anall 's isteach aris
Tuagimis cuairt is casadh
Is blaisimis beola na mban.
Seinimis duain is canaimis
Caithimis susas ar mbratacha
Ce bheadh duairc faoi mhairg
Nuair a Chifeach si gaire na mban.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Dancing and music had we
chat and sport and revelling
We played great music and
waved to the women
Chorus:
the mildness of the girls and
the young manly boys
dancing, music and revelry
the beauty and laughter of the women
Up and down the yard we went
to and fro and through again
visiting with and tasting
the lips of the women
Playing songs and singing
we threw off our clocks
Who could be gloomy or sorrowful
around the laughter of women